5 Things To Remember If You’re The Girl Who Has Been Strung Along

A dark-haired woman strolling through an orchard full of white flowered plants
Ana Gabriel / Unsplash

Is he really worth it? Is he really worth the thoughts that cloud your mind? Is he really worth the missed opportunities for something much better that actually helps you grow? Is this guy, who is robbing you of your precious time, really worth the countless tears and anxiety?

Let’s be honest, you clicked on this for a reason, so chances are you’ve already tolerated too much of his BS at this point. Do yourself a favor, STOP wasting your time and follow these steps that will hopefully lead you out of the woods and into the light.

1. Know Your Worth

The first step when realizing it’s time to walk away from someone who is not helping you grow is knowing your worth. Yes, I’m sure you’ve heard this many times before, especially from your girlfriends who plead with you to run for the hills from this guy, but it’s so true! STOP comparing yourself to the other girls that you think are more his type. STOP wishing you had someone else’s characteristics that don’t match the unique individual that you are. In this life, there’s always going to be someone that’s prettier, skinnier, curvier, funnier, and smarter than you and that goes for every person; but NO ONE will ever be YOU. No one will curve their back the same way you do when you’re laughing hysterically, no one’s smile will hug their cheeks the same way they hug yours, no one’s eyes will reveal sorrow the same way yours do when you see something that aches your heart, no one’s voice will ring through someone’s ears the same way yours does. YOU cannot be replicated so please appreciate every stitch of your body and soul that’s crafted you into the person that you are right now; realize your worth is NOT contingent on this person. You are worth so much more than a virtual like on social media or a phone call from this guy who doesn’t even bother to check in with you and ignores your messages when he’s well aware that he’s stringing you along. Put your foot down and please realize you deserve so much more. There’s someone out there who knows what you’re worth and wants exactly what only you have. And when you truly believe it, that confidence will radiate in everything you do.

2. No Social Media Stalking

Do NOT I repeat do NOT stalk his social media. I’m sure you already know how unhealthy this can be as soon as you get that pit in your stomach when you see something on his feed that paralyzes you with anger. Seriously, why do we do this to ourselves? We know we’re inevitably going to find out something we wish we never knew, so just steer clear. Trust me, I know it’s easier said than done with how readily available information is on social media, but I’m telling you, ‘out of sight out of mind’ really holds its truth when it comes to moving on. It will be difficult at first, especially if checking his social media has become an intuitive daily task for you, but the sooner you break this bad, addictive habit, the sooner you can start putting your focus on more important things in life like appreciating the people who truly care for you and the goals you have yet to accomplish. You can do it!

3. Ignore Him

IGNORE him when he finally decides to reach out to you. If at this point, you have exhausted all of the possibilities of you guys ever becoming a couple, DO NOT respond to him. Responding to him after you know for a fact that this person just wants attention at his convenience and nothing more will only prove that he can have you whenever he pleases. DON’T give him that power! This will only feed his narcissistic ego and establish that you will be there at his beck and call no matter how many times he toys with you. It might take a lot of willpower for you to not send that message or answer that phone call when you get that exciting rush of seeing his name pop up on your phone, but taking your power back and showing yourself that you can survive without communicating with this person is so worth the benefits that will follow. Once you get past this step, you’re going to feel dignified and freed from the constricting feeling of waiting around for this person to get back to you when only he feels like it.

4. No Moping

DON’T mope around. Even if this person has you down in the dumps, push yourself to get out there. Don’t waste the time you’ll never get back by pining away and waiting around for him to contact you. Get out and engage in conversations with people, take a nature walk, go watch a movie, dive into a compelling book, contact your closest friends and free your mind! Surrounding yourself with people who lift your spirits will give you the strength and encouragement you need to fill your heart up when you feel like there’s something missing. Also, why are you going to be moping around in your PJ’s on a Saturday night when you sure as hell know he’s not sitting around, refreshing his phone, wondering what you’re up to. At this point, you already know his thoughts of you are contingent on either how bored he is or the lack of attention from other women; so do yourself a favor and slip on that sexy, feel-good outfit and go have some fun to free yourself of this depressing funk you’ve been in. There’s so much life yet to discover, but your journey can’t continue while you’re sulking on your couch, three scoops deep into your pint of ice cream.

5. Believe in Yourself and Your Future

BELIEVE there’s more out there. To truly solidify all these steps, you need to believe and realize there are so many people out there you haven’t met yet. I know right now the pain is still present, along with the spark of hope that still lingers, but you need to truly believe that you will eventually find the person meant for you; and when that day comes, because I assure you it will, you will understand and realize why your heart was preserved by fate and protected from what was not meant to be. Believe in yourself and believe that one day, you will cross paths with the one whose heart was carefully crafted to take care of yours. TC mark

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