A Short List Of The Most Ridiculous Things Guys Have Said To Me On Dates

I have been on some very interesting dates. Some have been great, some not so much. Some have presented me with some amazingly crazy lines which I cannot help but share with the rest of the world.

Guys, girls, anyone interested in dating: please don’t say these things. Ever.

1. “So, X told me that you kissed him.”

I am not sure why anyone, ever, when driving a girl home from a date would think it appropriate to start asking about a date that she went on a year ago with another guy. Why, why would you ever think that it is not weird to bring up previous kisses when you have only just kissed me yourself?

2. “Just going to be honest, sort of seeing someone so in all seriousness maybe not tonight but later in the week would you like to go for a drink, strictly as friends.”

This is a quote from a man who spent 40 minutes chatting me up, then a whole day messaging me. He had just asked me out for dessert and a movie and before I COULD EVEN REPLY, this was his next message.

Boy, bye.

3. Some variation of “my fiancé just dumped me, but I am totally fine and over it.”

I have had this three times. THREE TIMES, PEOPLE. And all in the space of two years!

My heart goes out to all the lovely men that I have met who have had the misfortune of being dumped by their brides to be. They were all legitimately great guys and had hearts of gold.

Yet, none of them actually were over the ex. Considering that they were meant to be married when they were instead dating me, that is totally understandable.

But I do think that it is important to seriously reconsider entering a new relationship if you are starting a first date with “So, I was supposed to be married next month …”

4. “I’m a dangerous man. I’ve killed people.”

This is my personal favorite.

Yes, he actually said that. No, I am not joking.

This was on our first date, we were out to dinner in a lovely restaurant, and his attempt at being dark and mysterious (despite the fact that I was already on the date and into him) was this.

Needless to say, that was the first and only date, and we are no longer in contact with each other.

And with those lovely quotes, dear friends, I shall leave you to your thoughts of how to approach your next date, and all the things you should probably NOT say. Happy dating!