I’ve came across stories about people like him, and was convinced they were false hopes made for the faint of heart. I must confess that I did not believe his kind existed. Glancing stares shared across bar floors, his smile restored the faith I never had. Something so slow, open, and honest. I was embarrassed to admit that he started to open up the cracks that I intended to keep super glued closed. I found myself coming to full circle with my own inability to free myself from the harm that was caused by all things he was not. So hard to read, and coming from a person who has spent their wholesome 23 years of life reading past the lips of false sentences, and thoughtful harmful intentions, I had no idea what to do. Each conversation we held, I tried to find imperfections in him to convince myself that he was wrong for me in every way. However, he surpassed expectations I never knew I had. I was not used to being treated with affection, parts of me being gravitated outward that left me dismantled about who I was. I found fear in feeling whole on my own, when I have always carried the belief that we lose ourselves in our significant other so that they can fill the parts we think we’ve missed. Our time together marked the most significant part of my story, the void I had been searching for my whole life, was filled. A mask of mine was unveiled, one I never knew I wore, forcing me to evaluate everything love once stood for.
Thank you for setting me free. I am finally coming back to myself.
You reached parts of me that I thought I could never uncover. There was something so familiar about you, yet I couldn’t really understand what was going on. Maybe it was the comforting awkwardness of our first date. But I knew there was no way I could run from you. You saw right through me, you get it. The more you refused to ask about my past, the more I opened myself for you.
Never did I ever feel judged in your presence. You held a smile that made the rest of my world okay, you gave me butterflies that allowed me to keep calm, and feel sane. Nothing about you was overwhelming, too little, or selfish.
I have never felt so whole and complete standing next to someone without being able to express it, and I never felt that I really needed to say much at all.
For no words were needed for understanding. You hardly said much of anything about how you felt, but I sensed it, and for me that was enough. My whole life I was showed all things that love was not, and was forced to believe that’s what love truly was.
Then I met you.
You made me want to love myself, fully. You made me want to be a better person. You sparked something in me that I am only coming to understand as I stepped away. You completely shattered everything I once believed love stood for. I could never put together anything that could ever possibly live up to the immense amount of thank yous that you deserve. I didn’t understand my emotions or truly cared to focus on the void I carried until I met you. I did not understand the true meaning behind a relationship until we happened. I didn’t know that it was possible to ever feel anything like this. You taught me the true meaning of selflessness in any kind of relationship, without asking for anything. You’re not broken, tarnished, manipulative, or self-absorbed. I never before grasped the power of letting go of what you care for, so it can find its own way. Some of this worlds most beautiful things, can never be contained.