Dear future best friend,
Where have you been all my life? I’ve longed for someone to get me. I’ve longed for a meaningful connection that never breaks. You are the someone that fills my emptiness. And for once, it’s not one-sided. We hold hands and balance together bit by bit, supporting each other as we walk the tightrope of life.
I’ve fallen platonically in love with you. And somehow you love me back. My self-hatred, my skepticism, my feelings of unworthiness, my feelings that I’m a lost cause, they don’t scare you away. Slowly and patiently, you help me heal myself. We help heal each other from the gaping wounds of past trauma and abandonment.
I cherish every waking moment with you. The bellowing laughs, the alluring conversations at 2 a.m., the lazy Sundays, cliché road trips, saying the same thing at once, saying ”I’m proud of you,” tackling fears together, hugs that are long and squeezing while whispering what we need to hear. Hug me every time you’re about to leave.
Come back. You always come back. Finally, I know what not being alone feels like. Let’s pull all-nighters and be kids again. Let’s watch sad movies after breakups. If there’s a rupture, we’ll always repair it. There’s apologies and forgiveness. You always come back. If you travel far, we can send letters. We can get through this.
I look into your eyes and you understand me. We protect each other. When I’m drowning, you remind me how to swim. When you’re spinning, I unwind and steady you. We know right from wrong. We believe together. I’m not sure if you exist. I’m not sure we can find each other. If we do, will you be my maid of honor? Or maybe you’ll be my best man. Or maybe you’re my best person; my best friend.
I’m craving to meet you.