Latest Zits Articles
I realize wild banshee screaming and head-on attacks may be semi-inappropriate at this point, but that’s no excuse for my current “Oh hey Dad, didn’t see you there” attitude. Why do we all have to act like such nonchalant brats to the people who raised us?
Kids ask me all the time what’s wrong with my face. Children lack social awareness, which makes them simultaneously horrible and awesome. Just when I want to turn around in my airplane seat and rip a kid’s feet off for kicking the back of my chair, he asks his mom in a loud voice why that old man is smelly.
I recently held back someone’s hair while they vomited for the first time and was struck by how tender it felt. Scooping their hair up and pulling it back as they do this really disgusting and vulnerable thing felt like a total bonding experience. Added bonus points if you massage the back of their neck while they heave.