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You hear the music from Jaws in your head anytime someone approaches your desk.

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You make some headway on a project you’re working on but beat yourself up that you didn’t finish it or do as much as you’d have liked to. Some people haven’t done anything productive today.

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At some point you’ve got to question if there’s a way to spice up your love life or if you’re just really that busy.

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Chimples joins an already impressive team here at My Face. He’ll be working alongside the Forehead Acne, doing a remarkable job despite an earlier setback this year when the owner of My Face tried to cover them by getting bangs.

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I have a ton of work to finish. You’re aware of that, but you’re still going to call, and with the conviction of the most gifted salesman, pitch me the idea of going out.

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You see this coke bump of sugar, here? How about the Lake Superior of coffee you left behind? I love modern art as much as the next girl, but I draw the line at abstract coffee grinds.

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All of my nights are long, morning people. All of them. No, I didn’t go to a meth-fueled rave out in the desert last night that kept me up until the wee hours (though that may have been preferable), I just had a normal night, likely in or around my own bed.

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Whatever this person is doing with their life, you no longer have the balls to do it. They’re quitting their job on a whim to go backpack through Asia. They’re dating gorgeous people they meet and ask out in the middle of the grocery store.

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Open Excel and start making a nonsensical spreadsheet or one of your favorite bars ranked by drink price and ambiance.

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You know that horrible cliche in movies when a blind person asks a seeing person to describe the sunset? This is how I feel asking my day job friends about Fridays.