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Someday I hope to leave this kind of legacy.

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Dorothy Parker was one witty woman.  She was a wonderful writer, a founding member of the Algonquin Circle, and a complete badass.

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It seems that if people see you as the shy, quiet person who never really says anything interesting, any comment that you do make in jest is greeted with disproportionate appreciation. I cottoned on. The one-liner became my tool.

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“And she’s got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.”

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You have cynical jokes and snarky remarks that it’s killing you inside to hold off on saying, but you must wait until you have a better feel for whom you can get away with saying what to.

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A master of his craft, Rakoff always knew just the right amount of risibility needed to bring balance to life’s unpleasant, and oftentimes harsh, realities “I had a tumor. But it was great.”How brilliant is that?

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I am so attracted to men who can make me laugh. Someone can be a burn victim/dwarf with halitosis and if they have me in stitches, I’ll be like, “Whatever. Good breath is overrated anyway. Please get on top of me now!”