Someday I hope to leave this kind of legacy.

Dorothy Parker was one witty woman.  She was a wonderful writer, a founding member of the Algonquin Circle, and a complete badass.

It seems that if people see you as the shy, quiet person who never really says anything interesting, any comment that you do make in jest is greeted with disproportionate appreciation. I cottoned on. The one-liner became my tool.

“And she’s got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.”

You have cynical jokes and snarky remarks that it’s killing you inside to hold off on saying, but you must wait until you have a better feel for whom you can get away with saying what to.

A master of his craft, Rakoff always knew just the right amount of risibility needed to bring balance to life’s unpleasant, and oftentimes harsh, realities “I had a tumor. But it was great.”How brilliant is that?

I am so attracted to men who can make me laugh. Someone can be a burn victim/dwarf with halitosis and if they have me in stitches, I’ll be like, “Whatever. Good breath is overrated anyway. Please get on top of me now!”