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You may remember said college from a film titled We Are Marshall starring Matthew McConaughey (or, he who dampens Southern mammaws’ panties). We were very excited about this, despite the fact that the premise of the film is “Marshall’s football team was great… until everyone on the team died in a fiery plane crash.”

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ALUM CREEK, WEST VIRGINIA–Mark Thompson, 19, is being accused of kidnapping and murdering his neighbor’s pygmy (domestic) goat, all while high on bath salts.