“

I’m not too sure why lollipops are banned in Washington state.

“

Soften.

“

“The gal who pissed and shit herself while screaming, ‘I’m pissing and shitting myself you motherfucking bitch!'”

“

You know, I’d like to think I’m pretty open-minded when it comes to relationships and who people choose to spend their lives with, but I guess that maybe I’m a lot less tolerant than I thought.

“

Someone please buy this man a fourth grade textbook.

“

Of course, there’s still that other 15%…

“

Someone please make this stop.

“

He threatened that he has more tape and more fish to use in the future, too.

“

I tried to be normal and I failed. Believe me, I wish I could succeed at being normal.

“

“You came promising a cure, but instead you brought the disease.”