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The fermented grape stuff your parents used to bring out when the neighbors came over that stained everyone’s mouths red and made them laugh at the weirdest shit? Gross. The heavenly elixir that saves your life every night after work and that you turn to in good times, and in bad, in sickness and in health? Obsessed.

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Nothing seemed strange, at first.

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You start tracing your family’s history in hopes of discovering a web of lies and secrets to unmask at the next family dinner.

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I don’t want to see a picture of you jumping, or sitting on a glass pane over a city somewhere. That does not, ‘show that you are whimsical and fun,’ like you think it does — it shows me you are unoriginal.

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2. Scratching your butt

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17. If you think about it, “Typewriter” is the longest word you can type on a keyboard that only uses a single row of qwerty letters.

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Taking your computer or phone to a specialist almost always leads to fun and embarrassment for everyone!