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Not looking like you’ve been inflated with an air pump, because you’ve stopped drinking so much beer.

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Whether you’re downing shots of tequila, or putting on sweats for Netflix, weekends when you’re single can be a bit unpredictable.

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1. Plan a beach day with all of your friends. 2. Ask your mom if you can borrow her SUV.

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It’s Friday afternoon at the office, and those pre-weekend jitters are hitting you like a tidal wave. The real question is: What are you actually doing this weekend?

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What is wrong with spending some time with yourself, especially on a weekend? It’s great to give yourself at least ONE weekend out of the month to just do nothing but be lazy!

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I just thought, “I’m so lonely.”

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The expectations and hopes to live “like everyone else” that I feel as an adult is rooted in more than just a desire to measure up. It is also rooted in the need that I have felt since I was a child to live a normal and happy and controlled life.

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I want to feel giddy and confused and a bit overwhelmed as often as possible. I want to know that every day is going to provide me with something fascinating, be it Saturday or Tuesday.

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So that we can all dance and get drunk in peace.

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Don’t wait for the Friday cocktail hour to start — open up that top drawer, bust out that emergency flask and start drinking NOW.