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We were infinite, tiny moments of time—and we became love. But our time ran out.

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4. You look more dignified.

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The classic adage rings true: How does one even tell the time without the support of Baby Alpaca?

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To this day, my leftish friends of a certain age define fashion as any investment in appearance whatsoever, and view it with deep suspicion as clear evidence of counterrevolutionary tendencies.