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mirnoff officially wins the award for Pettiest Ad Campaign Ever.

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When you whip out a batch of lemon infused vodka popsicles at an outdoor shindig, you’re pretty much guaranteed to be everyone’s favorite guest.

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Also known as Korean firewater, Soju is the world’s most popular alcohol, selling twice as much as vodka.

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This is for the girls who drink vodka — the girls who choose the clearest and harshest of liquids.

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Qualifications for this analysis: I am a brat. 1. You buy those Cokes with names on them. 2. Your cardigans are color-coordinated to the seasons. 3. You live in Jersey. 4. You chose to live in Jersey. 5.

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This year more than ever, America has taken pumpkin spice to a whole new level. It needs to stop.

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Give them a no-fail “heyyyyy.” (Tip: The more “y”s you include, the more cool and level-headed you’ll seem.)

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It was very, very odd.

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I have already grown bored with him, already played with him enough times and want a new toy. I wish he would disappear and remain a bittersweet memory, a trophy to add to my collection of dozens.

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This is about being a little bit reckless, and a little bit ridiculous, and a little bit stupid.