When working with individuals who are displaying symptoms of narcissistic victim syndrome, the thing that I notice most of all is that the person feels so torn because they don’t understand what has happened to them.
You have been mercilessly violated, manipulated, lied to, ridiculed, demeaned and gaslighted into believing that you are imagining things. The person you thought you knew and the life you built together have been shattered into a million little fragments.
What many tend to neglect is that in the real world of feminism, the issue of domestic violence is not a women’s issue – it’s a people’s issue.
Every victim of assault or rape has acted in ways that do not align with the image of the “perfect victim.” Yet this is often irrelevant when it comes to rape – a crime in which the focus of interrogation should be the perpetrator, but is usually the victim.
The truth is that narcissists are very adept at impression management – in managing the ways others perceive them. They will appear to praise their victims in public, all while criticizing and demeaning them in private. They will provoke their victims into emotionally reacting – and they will use their reactions to the abuse to depict them as “unhinged.”
If you’ve ever asked yourself if you’re the one who’s a narcissist, you may want to read this.
To me today being a victim of rape means; not trusting men, being scared of affection, hating sex, a lot of angst, wanting to be alone, and feeling spiteful of men. I will forever have it at the back of my memory, just for it to haunt me now and again.
If you’re interested in serial killers, you’ll be fascinated by the story of this former Canadian nurse who pleaded guilty last week to killing “mean” patients, believing it was what God wanted her to do.
Philosophies that depict pain as an illusion rather than a legitimate, lived reality can be downright dangerous. They encourage victim-blaming and spiritual bypassing that harms the survivor more than they help. What we have to remember is that our perceptions of trauma are not due to erroneous thinking – they are due to egregiously damaging acts of emotional and physical violence.
“Was in college when I was tied up at gunpoint with my roommates. Got beat up pretty good.”