I am tired of listening to people talking about abuse as though a victim must be of a certain sex, or provoking by looking and acting a certain way. Abuse is entirely gender neutral.
Victims Of Abuse
You have been mercilessly violated, manipulated, lied to, ridiculed, demeaned and gaslighted into believing that you are imagining things. The person you thought you knew and the life you built together have been shattered into a million little fragments.
When working with individuals who are displaying symptoms of narcissistic victim syndrome, the thing that I notice most of all is that the person feels so torn because they don’t understand what has happened to them.
If someone doesn’t have the moral capacity to treat you with basic respect or act with integrity, it is doubtful they have changed overnight for someone else.
They ruin days that aren’t all about them with fights and anger.
The art of the subtle sabotage, much like the art of the pity ploy, is used to stage an environment of psychological warfare. It’s a set of manipulations within the abuse cycle that leads to an elaborate game of chess – if chess were an epic, elaborate game of mindf*ckery that is.
They engage in what I like to call “coded language.”
The truth is that narcissists are very adept at impression management – in managing the ways others perceive them. They will appear to praise their victims in public, all while criticizing and demeaning them in private. They will provoke their victims into emotionally reacting – and they will use their reactions to the abuse to depict them as “unhinged.”
Love-bombing – the excessive praise and flattery a predatory partner showers on their prey – might as well be crack cocaine. It is a common manipulation tactic used by cults to control their members – and in a relationship with a narcissist, you become a one-man cult.
If you’ve ever asked yourself if you’re the one who’s a narcissist, you may want to read this.