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When you’re single, it’s easy to get the wrong idea about Valentine’s Day.

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“I exist in two places, here and where you are.” — Margaret Atwood

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Settle down with a man who’s excited to celebrate every Valentine’s Day, every birthday, every anniversary, and every occasion with you.

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Aries: Avoid social media like the god damn plague!!!

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“The heart has its reasons which reason knows not.”

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This year, skip the fluffy Hallmark cards and give the horror lover in your life a valentine that really expresses your frightening feelings for them.

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“Roses are red
Violets are blue
Your best-friend tried to fuck me
And I said no because of you.”

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I think it’s Amateur Night for couples.

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If Valentine’s Day is a day about love, then shouldn’t those people who listen to every minute detail deserve praise of their own?

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He seems like a hardass, but he’s the kind of guy that would do anything for the people he loves, like buying me a surprise puppy for valentine’s day.