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“I decided that it wasn’t worth the wait and that I could just fuck one random person and I wouldn’t feel any emotional attachment….Why does it still leave me longing for more?”

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There is a stereotype that lady virgins will become attached, enamored, obsessed with the first boy she has sex with. Gentleman, let me let you in on a little secret: Your dick is not that amazing.

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Have you ever seen a movie or a television show where a girl loses her virginity and she makes it seem like it was fantastic? There was no pain and she was happy. Well I’m here to tell you that that is total crap.

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Too many religious communities, the one in which I grew up included, prize–more than service to and advocacy for the oppressed–pre-marital virginity. To “lose your virginity” before your wedding day is to relegate yourself to the margins of the congregation–shame and self-loathing your near-constant companions.