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Who knows what it means that I feel so alienated and inside myself that the thought of humoring someone else’s presence makes me feel like a cat being forced into a bathtub? Who knows what that says about my relationship with the person I’m dating? Does it mean we’re not right for each other? Or does it mean I have issues?

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If I had a stable living situation, a large house, and no one to judge me, I would stock the place with cats the way a pond is stocked with fish. Everywhere you turn — cat. On the table — cat. On the couch — cat. On the window — two cats. The walls would have a series of platforms for cats to perch on and glower down from like gargoyles.

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When people haven’t wanted to interact IRL they’ve apparently been excusing themselves as tired, busy with work, “sick,” “not available,” or other socially acceptable — but, most times, indirect — reasons that are, at best, polite or tactful; at worse, perhaps, harmlessly dishonest.