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If you’d told me five years ago that Kim Kardashian and Chrissy Teigen would team up to troll the crap out of Kanye West, I wouldn’t have believed you, even if I wanted to.

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Face it, a couple that trolls together lasts forever.

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The sheriff’s office posted a 30 day notice for all its citizens claiming that they would be blocking all social media access for a bit because of “repeated misuse of Facebook and other social media applications.”

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Isn’t it so cute that people still think it’s cute to body shame in 2017? How quaint.

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It’s times like these, I wish my special ability was to turn off internet modems from a distance.

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Oh man, this guy is comedic gold.

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Patton Oswalt posted satirical apologies, and insufferable whiners got offended over nothing. That was the prevailing narrative of this little event. Too bad that isn’t what actually happened.

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Perhaps the bigger problem is the nagging awareness that the invective isn’t likely to die down.

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I don’t know anymore.

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My grandma mailed me her hearing aid batteries inside of a Christmas card.