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There’s also a full tutorial of how to make the dress, in case you’re actually interested in giving it a try.

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SCORPIO: Your idea of classy is to get your name written in rhinestones on the back of your stonewashed denim jacket. You’re proud that you have two pairs of UGG boots—one for menial labor, the other for “special occasions.”

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“When almost all of your Facebook photos look like escort ads.”

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“The lactating woman had a boob out and was filling shot glasses for everybody to drink.”

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“Drunk girl couldn’t find a toilet on Saturday night so proceeded to pee in her handbag.”

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The verses are just him describing various living situations (apartment, cabana, tipi, castle), and all of the various ways he’s going to give it to you sexually.

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I am a woman, and it is my God-given right to wear fake hair, fake nails and get a spray tan or two if I damn well feel like it.