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When my brother and I were little, we had two clown dolls that we named Greeder and Seeder.

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Frozen in place with white knuckles wrapped around her prize, she wondered, “How can it be a sin to steal him?

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Leash and collar. This will be a step up from handcuffs, because it’ll allow you to pull your partner around the room and stick them in whatever position you’d like.

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“I don’t like this box. It’s pink and it’s creepy.” She held it up in her left hand, her right poking at the ballerina on top. “And why is she so SKINNY?” she huffed. “She looks dead!”

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With hammers!

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To this day Annabelle lives in the occult museum. Her locked case is “holy water encrusted.”

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As a little girl, I never looked at Barbie and thought, “When I’m a big girl, I need to look just like this!”

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Sock ‘Em Boppers.

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People who think the toys we play with as children actually affect our lives as adults are delusional.

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Lisa Frank was the Banksy of middle school fashion. I have no idea how her stuff isn’t still popular.