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You walk me to the train station. Nobody says anything. The silence is deafening.

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As long as you are happy in life and are working towards your goals, there shouldn’t ever be a specific timeline to finish them by.

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I’ve made him “The One.” I mean, he made me happy and brought out a more confident and phenomenal side to me that I didn’t know existed. I want to be better, because of and for him. I love him.

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I guess your invasive, all-knowing algorithms haven’t quite figured out how to detect heartbreak via timeline posts.

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One aspect of Facebook that I will never get used to is how easy it is for people to come out of the woodwork and find me. You know the type of person.

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A deliberate notch in the timeline that makes you immune to forgetting

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Be able to see the tweet that caused a certain person to unfollow you.

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Everyone hates you and your stupid relationship. Everyone secretly makes fun of your constant back-and-forth of “love u baby” on your respective timelines. Everyone is going to quietly rejoice when the two of you finally break up — and you will.