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There are plenty of inappropriate times to hit on someone. This is DEFINITELY one of them.

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I’m basically dehydrated.

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It’s important to remember that no matter what we believe, we can all come together and find common ground in our collective thirst.

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I stopped finding “him” and started finding myself.

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People have accused you of having standards that are “too high” – as if that’s a bad thing.

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“Just say you feel the way that I feel / I’m feeling sexual, so we should be sexual.”

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Note: there’s a difference between liking someone and being THIRSTY.

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So on behalf of humanity, thank you Jesse.

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It should go without saying, but if you’re itching to pick a well-ripened booger, first take a quick survey around the room, would you?

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You fell asleep watching a DVD, and the menu is constantly replaying. It’s really annoying.