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As I got older, I began to hide my humping. Not that I was ashamed of what I had been doing, but I understood that my mother was trying hard to steer me away from this activity. I was proud to be sexual at school, but at home, I had to hide my identity.
See, boys (and reality) kind of suck. I witnessed dreamy, life-after-blowjob love tales in Saved by the Bell and Boy Meets Girl amid my tender, overly sculpted youth and their numb-minded oral sessions almost always resulted in forget-me-not, lovers forever storylines.