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She has 17,000 kids with her and doesn’t even remember why she came into the store to begin with. She looks like she could use a massive hug, or maybe a year long vacation.

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If a frog is placed in boiling water, it will jump out. However, if it is placed in cold water that is slowly heated, it will not realize the danger until it’s too late.

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Parking. Parking everywhere. Parking wherever you want to. DRIVEWAYS. GARAGES.

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People can say a lot of things about you, but boring will never be one of them.

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You love the feeling of being anonymous in a group of people and walking around your city without really knowing anyone.

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4. Minivans Make You Break Out Into Hives

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But you know its all for naught because you’ll always end up back there. By that parking lot.

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Running from cement factory security dogs. Abandoning people when things get messy. Being a murky dude. Friendly gay bars. Writing real life fan-fiction. Filming real life fan-fiction. The heaviness of being wrong. A record of my life in 140 characters or less.

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We live in the wide, wide world. But the world is much wider and much weirder than we could have ever imagined.

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When I came here it was because of the quiet and calm it afforded. I wanted a place to retreat, where I could sulk or celebrate or create new memories from nothing. A place far from the gunshots that rang out in my old neighborhood, in the crumbling house that sat at the edge of a crooked cobblestone street, squeezed between the decay of the ghetto and houses too dilapidated to gentrify.