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In 2005 I was going to go out of business (again). My biggest investor had lost all his money.

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“Now that I’m with you again, I’m in agony.”

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Obi Wan Kenobi once told a young Skywalker, “A Jedi can feel the force running through him.” I am no different. All 90 pounds of my skinny body shakes with anticipation. I swing my aluminum slugger in the backyard, working as both bat and lightsaber.

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Today, May 4th, is national “Star Wars Day,” when nerds everywhere gather in gleeful celebration of the joy that George Lucas has brought to their lives — with the hopeful exception of those three prequel movies that really really sucked. Of course, President Barack Obama won’t declare “Star Wars Day” to be an official national holiday, just like he can’t catch Osama bin Laden won’t release his birth certificate can’t do something else that we’ll think of later on. …Shame on you, Mr. President!