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WTF: “Turning gay doesn’t seem to have done Tom Daley any favours.”

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“Today is reduced to one question, how bad do you want it?”

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Condoms are distributed to athletes via green vending machines throughout the Olympian village. However, in a pinch, this guy — a noble hero named Eric — carries around a huge bag of condoms to hand out to anyone who may be in need.

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I can’t explain it, but I truly believe with proper training I could also be an Olympian.

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Because everything’s more fun with alcohol.

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Two peoples lives, our fellow South African’s misfortune. Why are we so eager to find him guilty?

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This Olympian is 15? I was passive aggressively moving friends down my Top 8 when I was 15.

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“Well, when I was a freakin’ fetus I woke up at the buttcrack of dawn every morning, drank a protein smoothie of egg whites and rusty nails and hit the uneven bars for five hours until I had my routine down perfectly.”

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It also requires the ability to discern when exactly your alarm has gone off for the last time before it’s absolutely imperative that you get out of bed. It’s really more math than athletics, actually.