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Swearing off the Internet once and for all because you just can’t stomach all the mommy blogger fear mongering anymore.

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Just to be alive is a miracle.

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On one hand, I do remember him explaining dental dams and vaginal condoms the way your 8^th grade history teacher explains the cotton gin: At no point in your life will you ever encounter this, and neither has anyone born after the Great Depression, but it’s in the textbook and I have to mention it.