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Don’t call me. Don’t call me on your way home. Don’t call me because you’re bored or you’re waiting for someone else. Don’t call me to ask if we can just talk.

“

“Lol.” You’re not laughing out loud. In fact, your facial expression probably hasn’t even changed slightly.

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Having “the relationship talk” WAY too soon.

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Basically I want to know what it feels like to be the boy who cares less.

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When you’re in a relationship with someone, you’re allowed to really lean on them for emotional support. As sad as it sounds, you can only rely on your friends for so much before they start to feel a little suffocated.

“

I noticed that your hair looked hot, like it took you two hours to do, and that outfit you wore made you look ten pounds skinnier. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I was going to get back together with you again but then I saw your hair and that slim-fitting outfit and I was like, “Yes! I definitely want this!”

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Remember when we used to have face-to-face communication with each other? You know, when you were able to read things like expressions and social cues? Well, we don’t do that anymore. What is this, 2007?

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Nothing pains me more than waiting for a VIP text message. Whether it’s a text from your ex, someone you’re planning on having sex with later, or your drug dealer telling you to go to some seedy location, you’ll be kept on pins and needles until your phone vibrates and makes that luscious beautiful sound that indicates that you have a new message.

“

Usually odd, maybe suffering from ADD/ADHD/Asperger’s Syndrome, the awkward, older guy who took Calculus II with you in high school, the one who used to burp a lot at inappropriate times, the one who maybe rooms with you in college, along with two of your real friends, two guys you met in college, two guys whose friendship never seemed forced because they didn’t have to chug from vodka bottles to feel comfortable…

“

On June 4, 2002, Avril Lavigne, the soon-to-be epitome of all things awesome and angsty, released the album Let Go. It was credited as one of the top pop albums of 2002, which leads me to believe a lot of girls, like myself, heard it and adopted various lyrics to use as life mantras throughout middle school, high school, and yes, ok, college.