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There have been multiple times when I paused the television because I needed to take a second to process what had just happened.

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There is a god.

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The Dark Cristal follows Gelfling Ludacris as he tries to return the Cristal shard to its original vintage bottle. The bottle is guarded by the Skanksis — ten evil vulture-like creatures who drain the vitality of hoes in different area codes to remain young.

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My older man crushes have always been somewhat… controversial. While my friends make emphatic ‘ewwwww’-ing noises and my mother cries and says things like “where did I go wrong?” and “don’t you EVER bring a man my age home (unless it’s Brad Pitt)”, I swoon over some impossibly inappropriate older man crushes…

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Being straight is “gay.” It’s really “gay.” From role models to clothing selection, it’s all one ambiguous mish-mash of “what extreme do you want to market yourself as?” When you head in to work, are you the guy who rocks khakis and tucks in his shirt? Or do you take the “stylish straight male” role and make a nice pair of jeans and fitted dress shirt your go-to?