“

“Love isn’t supposed to be painful. Let yourself feel whatever it is you feel and get through it – there is joy to be had. Loneliness is not a good reason to invite toxic people back into your life.”

“

Ladies, if the love of your life is your bestie – you’re going to want to get her a cute V-day gift. (And boys, you can still use this list to get ideas on gifts for your girl that won’t break the bank.)

“

By disguising consumerism as love, Valentine’s has sneakily nestled itself into our social rituals that you may not realize it affects you, too.

“

Chris Hudspeth: You’re basically the awkward but hot person every Gen Y is desperately trying to emulate.

“

After all, capitalism and jewelry and flowers and candy and “stuff” seem to dictate what this day is about. But that’s only if you let it.

“

YOU DON’T NEED TO PROPOSE TO ANYONE ON THIS DAY.

“

Basically, you have to be the dateable 21st century version of Jesus.

“

Do not think of befores, or afters, or right nows, let your mind go blank, go black, think ‘nothing’ so fervently that nothing becomes something, that nothing becomes everything.

“

There is one element that all of my failed relationships share. Through all the many variations of womanhood that I have been familiar with, but a single thread carries through all of these dalliances. They involved a heavy amount of physical intimacy.

“

If in a far-flung future when the Earth has died, leaving only minefields of shattered Gorilla glass and the vomited innards of machines, the corpses of wireframe creatures with wires spilt out on the blasted land like entrails, let’s say some foreign species arrives and combs our data ghosts in order to divine the purpose of Valentine’s Day.