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Women love to see their man put together. Suits are to women what lingerie is to men.

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“My friend told me he was gay…I was so surprised I nearly choked on his penis.”

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“I felt it was just like putting your mouth on a toilet seat.”

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“When you poop…where does your penis go?”

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“I squirted so hard it hit my laptop and my laptop died.”

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“Mom caught me penetrating a sub-woofer.”

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“It turns me on when you look me in the eyes as you push it in.”

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I miss taking off your bra and revealing your overflowing tits, ripe for me to enjoy. I love running my tongue along the perimeter of them, slowly licking up the entirety of your mounds.

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I didn’t know poetry could be so sexy.

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First and most importantly, do not shove our heads into your groin.