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For all the times I am—have been, will be—guilty of taking you, for lack of a hipper idiom, for granted: I love you, and you make me happy.

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When you find something this right, you’ve got to find a way to keep it from going wrong.

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I don’t care if you’re on birth control and he’s the captain of the football team, ejaculates gold, and is “definitely STD-free”—USE. A. CONDOM.

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You’ve always been encouraged to put your schoolwork/career first.

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24 hours of fame, courtesy of the most important app on my phone.