Latest Super Mario Bros Articles
Don’t get me wrong, I have always been a dynamic personality who could interact with and befriend the dead — but in 2011, having 1200 Facebook friends enables me to give just a perfunctory nod to each of them on a semi-regular basis without having to sustain any meaningful adult relationships.
Very few people would watch, say, Jaws, and shout out to themselves, “Jesus Christ! That huge shark is coming to kill me!” But this is what happens all the time with video games. You don’t say, “Holy shit, Mario’s gonna be crushed by a boulder!” You say, “Holy shit, a boulder!”
Feel like Sonic is probably living off of royalties in a really humble apartment somewhere routinely dressing in 1980s-style exercise clothes [primary-colored gym shorts with ‘piping’, matching wristband and sweatband set] despite being inactive; he eats bran flakes in his kitchen and reads the paper, smokes cigarillos guiltily, is surly at articles about Mario’s success.