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You litter. And I swear, the next cigarette butt my kid picks up at the park I’m mailing away for DNA testing and I’m coming for you.

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I saw my coworkers go home and relax at the end of the day while I drove two hours to play to 12 people in a cafe. Unsurprisingly, trying to have two careers starts to put a strain on the band, the job and relationships.

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Note: You will probably not burn any belly fat doing these things. Nor will you earn any money.

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Sucking, licking, slurping action in the name of nacho cheese dust residue is one of life’s necessary pleasures.

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Hooray! Let’s all suck together in one massive global conspiracy of suck!