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“We’re fine with your straightness, but just be straight over there in the corner, please.”

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Which one of you is the man?

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I’m sorry I used to discredit your identity. I believed that being bisexual was only a phase, a transition towards the real thing, a bridge from being in denial to being self-accepting.

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It is a depressing realization to come to: The fact that, despite my best efforts, I am straight and will remain in this heterosexual quagmire, needing, lusting, wanting men for the rest of my life.

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Viewers deserve the real thing; nobody likes a fake.

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Let’s be honest here: watching a dude in action is not really a sexual turn-on.

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Because of your hair’s incredibly unpredictable nature, you’ve have had to adapt over the years, creating an arsenal of hairdos to tame the beast. But what exactly does your chosen hairstyle say about you?

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5. “You don’t really look gay.”

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I had never really given it much thought because there was a big part of me that always knew instinctively. Then, in my early 20s I realized that people are actually probing for specific instances of my raging homosexual tendencies.

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“You totally remind me of my friend Kevin. He’s straight too!”