“

I’d like to believe that love feels better than this.

“

But I don’t want to say hi. I want to say I miss you.

“

When he left, he shattered me. He completely crushed me. And if he wanted me back I don’t think I could say no.

“

It’s hard wanting more, but knowing better than to seek it. It’s hard maintaining an expectation-free, non-attachment relationship with someone I expect things from and feel attached to.

“

When I got home I threw myself across my bed, pizza still in hand. I continued to cry, louder now, and reveled momentarily in my hideous self-indulgence. I fell asleep to the sound of my own sniveling. In my wrought sleep I dreamed vividly of a man I used to love. I dreamed of him getting married, of my total, gut-wrenching heartache; I woke up feeling exhausted, used up physically and emotionally…