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“A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life.” — Coco Chanel

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We need to celebrate all women. We need to praise all body types. We need to love what we have, exactly where we’re at.

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There is beautiful or ugly. Fat or skinny. Good or bad. Slutty or prudish. Girly or tomboyish. Smart or ditzy.

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What I didn’t know was that Patti Stanger would royally piss me off almost immediately after I’d begun watching. If you’re not familiar with the crass wannabe Cupid, a common habit of hers is pressuring women into straightening their hair for myriad shallow reasons.

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They’re my friends—I know what they think their problem areas are, I know what colors they think they don’t look good in, I know if wearing a 4-inch heel makes them homicidal. These questions are not for them.

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Los Angeles likes blondes, New York prefers brunettes. L.A. is all about promoting exercise by hiking with your dogs in Runyon Canyon, taking a kickboxing class, and wearing your workout apparel 24/7 to prove that you do, in fact, work out. New Yorkers maintain their bodies in secret at expensive gyms.