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Scott flattered my vanity by asking if I’d been working out. We got into the Camaro – “This is the last car I’d expect you to be driving,” Scott said – and I took him down Commercial Boulevard to A1A and then along the Strip by the beach, where Scott was surprised at the young crowd.

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Seeing one good-looking young muscular guy is exciting, but seeing a thousand of them in fifteen minutes at Spring Break in Fort Lauderdale is too many for the mind to handle. Also, the beach air reeked of two smells I hate: beer and vomit.

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I had lunch at Pumperniks next to a gay guy from New York and his Yiddish-accented grandma, who turned to me and said, “Did you ever?” when her grandson fought her attempts to pay the check. It’s spring break, and college students are on the Fort Lauderdale strip, frying their bodies and guzzling beer.

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Spring Breaker Giorgio D’Auria found out the hard way that it was probably not okay to shotgun a beer using a live shark.

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These students went to Alabama for break, where they were caught by the police while partying with one friend who was underage. The police gave them an ultimate: pour out alcohol or they would take the underage friend.

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You were just a boy that I met who whispered sweet things in my ear and left imprints on my lips. Eventually my curiosity got to me. I had to know more about the guy who said all the right things at all the right times, but mama was right. Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to.

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Remember: all-inclusive does not include alcohol.

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Your good time, your laughs, your memories stem from the people you surround yourself with and the attitude you have going in.