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Destroy your designer bags. Have sex on a pile of Birkins. Smear ketchup on your Marc by Marc Jacobs messenger bag. Don’t actually buy a cheap bag because, ew, it’s cheap! Beat your boyfriend with your Miu Miu clutch in order to give it that distressed look.
As you get you older, you’ll transition to reading grownup Vogue, bag yourself a hedge-funder named Barry and watch the days just languidly pass by. Sometimes, you’ll stir your finger into your cocktail without noticing because you’ll be completely in a daze. You’ll whisper to yourself, “I guess it’s….time….to get ready for the Multiple Sclerosis Disco Dance-Off Charity Ball.”