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The pain is a cold wind bearing against me, pushing me back. I don’t know what else to do but write to you.

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I am sure you have destroyed the hearts of so many ambitious lovers.

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I saw the world clearly, but it was older, more remote, and there was an unshakeable sadness that pervaded my thoughts.

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“Faith should cost you something.”

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But hold on, because just as quickly as it began, it will end. Breathe.

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I am not yet over him. In a way, I never will be. I will wonder if you wear glasses, and when you take them off, if the sight of your eyes makes him melt as they did with me.

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The possibility does not escape you that it was this dread itself that caused the very thing you dreaded to happen. A sick joke: whoever is more suspicious that the other person is keeping secrets is always the one who’s worse at holding things back. This time it’s you. The more you try not to give your fears away, the more they seep out of you.

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Belatedly: Happy Easter, Lindsay Lohan! Go directly to jail and do not collect your Mini Eggs. Don’t worry, though. They sell them year round now. That’s a reason not to kill yourself any and every day. And yet I’m going to keep writing. Stay with me.

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Kurt Cobain died when I was 8. It would be a few years before I’d become completely engulfed by his music and by his celebrity in general; but when that happened, I was utterly obsessed with him – particularly, his death.

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Depression may seem like something the majority of the population tries to avoid, but let me tell you from experience, it ain’t half bad. I was mildly depressed as a teenager and it kind of sucked, but that’s only because my adolescent self didn’t know how to recognize this beautiful gift that was being bestowed upon me.