Thought Catalog

Social Networking

10 Short “How To” Guides For The Modern Internet Persona

How to be an Artist: Start an Etsy ‘store.’ Draw small robots, animals or ‘things’ on printer paper. Add minimal color using the markers you used in grade school. These drawings’ overarching theme should be one of ‘cuteness’ or ‘twee.’ Frame these drawings and list them on Etsy for $20 a piece. Facebook status update that you’ve “finally” started an Etsy page “so [you] can FINALLY start selling [your] art.”

Where, When, and How to (Compulsively) Check Social Networks

At parties: Feel a tingling sensation in your thumb, begging you to refresh your feeds during every awkward moment. Feel a strong inclination to whip out your phone during any silence that lasts over ~1.5 seconds. Find that you can usually fight the urge, but instinctually check FB and Twitter when conversations cease and you’re unsure of whom to mingle with next.

Socraft: Essential Names For Common Social Media Practices

Needledicking: Making direct contact with a person of higher online social standing within a given community with no fixed intentions or propositions – mainly (merely) to say what’s up or indicate approval of “what they are doing” – under the impression that said action may result in unforeseen future benefit. Eg: “Biches are needledicking my fake Bill Gates account…”

The MySpace Friends Everyone Had

Jeffree Star may have very well been someone’s AB once upon a time; but at the peak of his MySpace fame he more closely resembled the Barbie’s World equivalent of Marilyn Manson. His pink hair and glittery persona was all Babs, but the “I removed my bottom ribs to perform oral sex on myself” look was totally Marilyn.

An Ode to Fallen Facebook Fads

Bumper Stickers: A trend I remember fondly. At one point in college, I had five female roommates. The six of us would sit in the same room in complete silence and either waste hours battling on Scrabulous.com or sending each other Bumper Stickers. I only permitted Bumper Stickers from Someecards to remain on my page.

Denying A Request To Connect on LinkedIn

Well this is interesting. Instead of your face, I’m seeing what appears to be thousands of… yes these are definitely dead wolves. My eyes are open now but the image remains. I didn’t know this many wolves even existed! If they weren’t an endangered species before, they certainly are after whatever happened here.

What Kind of Twitter User Are You?

Twitter is a social networking tool that attracts a diverse array of users. Everyone from comedian Sarah Silverman to Betty Sue from Cupcake, Illinois uses the website to share their daily thoughts, which can range from intelligent quips to TMI boredom. Let’s find out what camp you fall under.

An Obituary For Myspace

The Top 8- a feature in which a Myspace user could rate their eight most important friendships based on who they liked better that day-literally destroyed relationships. At first, it was fun to have your 8 best friends hanging out next to each other on a website because, oh my god, you loved them and you wanted everyone to know it! But then it just turned into an evil passive-agressive tool.