Thought Catalog

Social Networking

16 Things I Remember About Napster

4. Getting booted from the Internet and having to start a download from scratch 5. Searching for my name, “Stephanie,” and downloading every search result (they were all pretty bad; save for “Hey Stephanie!” by Gob and “Stephanie Says” by Velvet Underground) 6. Downloading corrupted files that were half song and half screeching, scrambled white noise

Social Media Is Ruining Everything

I wake up in the morning and the first thing I do is reach for my phone; I sift through the notifications; who ‘Likes’ my pictures? Who has replied to me, mentioned me? I am hooked on the feedback drip. Increasingly I feel less sure of myself in real conversations; I can’t read faces. Real people are a blank mirror. I clutch the cold glass brick of my hand in my palm to feel better.

27 Questions From a 27-Year-Old

Do I have a career right now? Will I refer to this time as part of my career later? When am I going to have a career? Is this a career? Is this life, or is life going to happen later? Is everyone still getting married and settling down? Is that something everyone’s eventually going to do? Or did everyone stop doing that? Like, you know how everyone’s parents got married and then got divorced? Is that our destiny?

Why I Won’t Ask How You’re Doing

And it’s so gently unsettling that now, for the first time in human history, we have this funny, innocent little peephole into the lives of others. An acquaintance, an old flame, in any other period of history, would have faded away just as quickly as they came–now, they are here indefinitely. They linger on the bottom of our screens, they pop up in our news feeds, they are still here.

The Internet Gives Me Social Anxiety

I am the internet. I am anything to everyone everywhere. I am a mass channel for organizing a cultural revolution in Iran and finding a free ottoman on Craigslist. If I had a status update it would be, “So busy today,” and it would actually be true, unlike you.

Annoying Facebook Statuses

Given my social networking experience, which is extensive, I see a lot of status updates on Facebook. Without belaboring the point, here are the five most annoying categories of status updates, counting down to the single most upchuck-reflex inducing bile that gets spewed, Team America style, all over my newsfeed.

What We Really Need

Probably neither of those. We define ourselves through our relations to other people. We are mother, husband, lover, sister, teacher, friend, son, enemy. Without links to other people, we disintegrate. We need anchors to society. To label someone is not to negate them. Even derogatory labels, whilst unpleasant, acknowledge a place in society, somewhere to belong. An identity.

10 Short “How To” Guides For The Modern Internet Persona

How to be an Artist: Start an Etsy ‘store.’ Draw small robots, animals or ‘things’ on printer paper. Add minimal color using the markers you used in grade school. These drawings’ overarching theme should be one of ‘cuteness’ or ‘twee.’ Frame these drawings and list them on Etsy for $20 a piece. Facebook status update that you’ve “finally” started an Etsy page “so [you] can FINALLY start selling [your] art.”