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Easter mass is the longest Christian mass in the calendar and it is the same thing every DAMN year. How can you make this interesting again? Marijuana.

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Basically, God.

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Kim Kardashian might have been on a quest to break the internet, but these three grandmothers just won the whole thing.

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Marijuana, as with all other drugs, allowed me to be the ultimate escapist, and in escaping, I became lost and ill-equipped to handle the world — and life.

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It begs the following question: If a college kid smokes a blunt in the woods and doesn’t post a vignette-filtered selfie of himself doing a french-inhale on Instagram, then does he really get high?

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This week, I’ll cover smoking weed, an activity that can shift overthinkers into psychological overdrive, taking them down the highway of excessive self-shaming, self-loathing, and mental breakdown.

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When you live in New York, everything starts to have sentimental value. If you’re here long enough you won’t be able to walk down certain blocks because of reasons x, y, and z. You collect memories like a hoarder. Everything means something.

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Whenever I get upset about where I am in my life, I need to remind myself that life isn’t like TV and the movies. Story arcs can’t be wrapped up neatly with a ribbon. People change gradually instead of over the course of three episodes.

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Hindsight is 20/20, and while I can’t completely regret anything I’ve done because I’m relatively satisfied with who and where I am – if I’m realistic about it – I might choose do some things over in my life knowing what I know now, if I could. For example, some decisions I made in college. Here are five.

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The sad part of this whole article is, I don’t even like being stoned. I am the worst, most stereotypical stoned person in the world. I get paranoid. I get dry-mouthed. I get the munchies. I laugh at stupid TV. I make phone calls that I shouldn’t make. I want to have sex. I say things like: “Please tell me that I don’t have to leave this room,” or, conversely — “I HAVE to go outside, I can’t handle this scene anymore.”