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“The local funeral home was caught selling body parts.”

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Everybody you went to high school with who stayed there is married/engaged/pregnant/all of the above.

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They found blood stains on the floor, pentagrams cut into the hardwood floor, semen on the floor in another room.

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There is a convicted cannibal in our town. Seriously. He killed his friend while drunk, then ate his jaw.

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“When I was a teenager, someone murdered a man, cut his body up, and drove it out to that tiny rural town and dumped the pieces down a hillside.”

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“I was just chilling in the tent using a torch to read my book when all of a sudden the roof just starts bowing inwards. It came down 2/3 feet to the point where I had to lie down so it didn’t touch me. I was still pretty wasted, but I’m sure I saw 10 points pressing in right above my face, like someone was pushing it down with their hands.”

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You should date a small town boy if you want a simple love.

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We get hungry, we get thirsty, we get horny. It’s just another physical response that lets us know that there is a need that is asking to be satisfied.