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Apparently someone had been frequently shoplifting a local store, and Barnes’ appearance matched that of the thief who was caught on camera. There are also concerns that the story Barnes provided in his television interview was not accurate, and he might also owe over $1600 in traffic tickets.

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“If I could map out the timeline of my life, I would never get my dick sucked by someone who doesn’t like Drake.”

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Stealing is mainstay of the American identity, and I still shoplift to this day. Mostly for the nostalgia aspect, but also because I believe that it’s our responsibility as individuals to actively participate in and perpetuate our culture as Americans.

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Date her because she’s basically Amazon.com and FedEx rolled into one beautiful package, except everything’s free.

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Most employees made their real income by stealing items and re-selling them on eBay. Some stole for personal use, usually the younger employees who were just there as a student job and therefore didn’t need the money as badly, but everyone stole.

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This was before the internet, kids, when kids back then went to great and precarious lengths to acquire pornographic material.

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We don’t condone shoplifting because it’s illegal, embarrassing, and so 2002. But if you’re really jonesing to channel your inner Winona, here are some tips you should follow to avoid being arrested and taken to Shame Spiral Jail.

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If we eat things before we exit can no one call…catch us? There’s habeas corpus but there’s something else. Body of evidence? Doesn’t physical evidence need to exist of the event? So long as we consume all evidence perhaps nothing can be done to us.