I have to rewrite texts ten times before sending, because I am always worried about saying the wrong thing.

I read once that every relationship could be defined as a power struggle, with the winner being the one who cared about the other the least. I lost.

You will lose a girl with anxiety by taking too long to answer her texts, even though you know she freaks out when you go missing for hours.

Do you have bad reception? Because I think we’re breaking up.

There is sexual tension whenever our arms brush against each other, whenever we hug each other, whenever we are alone in a room together. 

“It was simply the ‘brick wall’ effect. When we tried penetration, my vagina just shut him out.”

If he misses work, it’s your fault for not waking him up. If he yells, it’s your fault for getting him angry. He refuses to take responsibility for his own actions. 

When they ask if you’re jealous and you say yes (even if you’re totally not) because you know it will make them feel a little bit better about themselves.

Friends don’t pick and choose when to answer texts. 

A man who gives a lady money but gets no sugar.