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You’re still hung up on an ex or someone from your past.

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Maybe he’ll text you. It always seems innocent. A simple, “how are you?” perhaps. But you’ll remember how he destroyed you. Or, more appropriately, how he tried.

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Do you know how many times we’ve gone down on hairy men with dank ass balls?

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People have accused you of having standards that are “too high” – as if that’s a bad thing.

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The friend zone, while a terribly one-dimensional term, is real. Real in that if he doesn’t have an inner desire to sleep with you, he never will.

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Capricorns are zero percent sentimental by nature, so if they are doing something sappy, they truly believe in the cause.

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One of the best things you can do for the health of your relationship is to surprise your partner with little trinkets that say “I’m thinking about you” for no reason.

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Their television show requirements. For example, they might be willing to negotiate their binge-watch go-tos, but if they are non-negotiably following Game of Thrones, you might want to consider hopping on that bandwagon.