“

The sex peters out in your relationships way, waaaaay sooner than it should.

“

Serial Monogamist (noun): One who spends as little time as possible being single, moving from the end of one relationship to the beginning of a new relationship as quickly as possible.

“

After you’ve started transitioning into an actual adult with bills and a bedtime and responsibilities, how does it still make sense to treat relationships like a game of musical chairs?

“

Indeed, events such as these are simply happenstance, and for this, the Stressed Out Girlfriend induces a sort of torture on her partner in which her partner must either become upset with her for becoming upset with reality (this is not advised), or humor her and attempt to calmly mitigate the situation.

“

Living with your girlfriend, it is important to keep communication to the bare, bare (barest) minimum. This will allow secrets to be kept, shame to develop, and an almost complete disregard for each other’s emotional needs to blossom.