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But he couldn’t because he lived 443 years ago.

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It appears that my alma mater is making news again in 2015. Campus police removed “Whites Only” and “Black Only” signs from Clemens Hall after 11 phone calls were made starting 1PM on Wednesday, September 16.

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Not all words were created equal.

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Anyone with a remote can now scroll through the listings and quickly see the trend taking place. Gritty, bearded, hardworking men who may or may not be missing a toe are seducing America. Viewers are finally running far, far away from Hollywood.

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The grossest sentence ever: “While still in my panties, I vomited from my jowls a chunky curd of phlegm that was dripping with roaches, maggots and mucus and gurgled a moist egg yolk while I blogged about it.”